Thankful Thursday–My love

This weekend I took some photos of Scott while he was studying.   The more I have looked at this photo – the more I realize how blessed I am to be his wife.   

You see Scott constantly teaches me the most amazing lessons about God’s love. 

Lately, he has been showering me with His love in many ways.   He has been loving me the most when I feel the most unlovable.  He is teaching me that no matter how I feel about myself, to him I am worthy and to Him I am worth everything.  That his love is NOT dependent on anything I do or don’t do.  So when I act or react poorly to him or the children – it doesn’t change his love for me and how he shows that love to me. 

If anything he has begun to show me more love – because he has learned from spending hours with God himself on this very thing – that to heal brokenness you simply need to fill it with love. 

Love breaks through and heals the deepest hurts. 

Love quiets the hurt. 

Love quiets the storms around us.

Love quiets the voices of deceit and the lies we try to tell ourselves.

Love changes everything.

Love never fails.

Love always wins.

Love covers a multitude of sins.

I am learning so much from Scott and some days it can be overwhelming trying to take it all in.   I truly can’t imagine what I have done to be loved by Scott, let alone by God the way they do.   Then Scott reminds me His love has nothing to do with me.   It has everything to do with God.   His love is.  Because God is love.  1 John 4:8  

He loved us first.  1 John 4:19

Even when we were sinning against Him.  Even when we still try to do things without Him.  Even when we say “we believe” and yet act out unbelief.   Even when we say, “You are my Lord” and yet act like we don’t need Him helping us or taking care of us.  Even when we walk the complete opposite way.  

His love remains for us. Romans 8:38-39

This is the perfect song for each of us to sing and remember His truth when we begin to doubt in it or ourselves.  

What I keep finding out on this journey of parenting 7 adopted children is that without love there is no hope.  You can speak of hope.  But without love hope can never be felt where it counts the most.   Nor can one learn to trust without love.   Not the kind of love you and I would give.  Because sadly ours is conditional.  Sadly ours is often ruled by our emotions which change with the wind.  Sadly ours is often ruled by the way others treat us and act.  Sadly ours is often ruled by what we get and if we get it when we wanted it.  Sad.  But true.

BUT GOD!!!! 

My two favorite words EVER!

Because unlike us, His love remains steadfast and never fails.

I have shared this before – but it bears repeating.  Hurt people – HURT PEOPLE.

Thus, adopted children often struggle to accept love and will do everything in their power to resist what it is doing to them.   Changing them from the inside out.  Because once you truly let love in – the control is gone and love begins to rule you.   Which means what is most natural to a hurt child (person) no longer is ruling them and they are very uncomfortable with how things begin to feel.   So they resist it and fight to be who they were when love was not calling their name. 

As a child and adult who has lived with deep hurts, rejection, and scared of letting love in – I know what this feels like personally.  I have shared bits of my personal struggle with love and how the book Shame Lifter helped finally break me free from the bondage of my past.  

And now God is giving me ample opportunities daily to choose love when everything inside of me is screaming no.   The choice is up to me.  Will I choose to love in action?  Or will I simply love in tongue?   I know what I must do.  The choice is up to me.   I said this the other day, I don’t want to be a hypocrite in any area of my life – especially to our children.   Let alone knowing I’m fooling no one and unable to give the glory to God, when I choose anything but Him and love first!

Love can and will soften the hardest of hearts.   One love chip at a time.  

So when you do not feel like loving those who matter the most or feel that they are not deserving of your love – remember you are not doing it because of a feeling or to get something in return.   {Also, remember that you and I are not and were not deserving of all the Christ did for us.   He loves us even when we are completely unlovable and never rejects us or pushes us away.} 

You are loving them because God commands it and because love is a verb.  

1 Corinthians 13 is a great place to go when you question what love is and is not.

To get love one must do love. 

And when I am way too caught up in emotions and my natural instinct is to do anything BUT love begins to flare its ugly head – I simply must remember that God will love through me if I simply let Him.  

I must love in more than just my words.  Words are easy. 

Real love takes action even when you don’t feel like doing it. 

I must choose to love in action.   One choice at a time. 

It will not be easy at first.   It will take all that you have to let go and let God.   Because you are fighting against human nature that wants what it wants when it wants it and wants to be right.  

But, is your need to be right or to be heard worth the loss of love?

Instead of running in the opposite direction of love – risk everything and run directly into it and watch God move mountains you never imagined could be moved in your life.

You see we don’t have to wait for heaven or to be in the arms of Jesus to experience His love for us. 

Nor do we have to wait for Him to love us more before we change or do what He is asking of us – because He loved us first and will NEVER stop loving us no matter how many times we forget about Him and all that He desires to do for us and HAS ALREADY DONE!

NOTE TO SELF:   Love wants the best for others.   Love sacrifices self.   Love is slow to speak and quick to listen.  Love gives soft answers.  Love doesn’t take what others do or don’t do or say personally.   Love is slow to act and quick to think about what is best to help care for the needs of others before your own.   Love doesn’t worry about me, myself and I.   Loves focus is on how can I serve you and bring more joy into your life.   Love sacrifices self.   Love is not about me.   Love is all about you (that is anyone but me first).  The more I love, the more love I will receive.  The more I love, the more Your love will fill me to overflowing.  The more I love, the more joy, peace and love I have to give!   Love as a verb will always bring You all the glory.   Sow love reap love. 

The lessons I’m learning from Scott are humbling me to my core.   I’ll be the first to admit that when another's light shines into your darkness, {especially the one who knows you most intimately} it doesn’t feel good.  Praise God, the darkness can no longer hide and His light begins to dwell there.   As Scott said to me the other day, “because I love you so much, I cannot be the one to help you hide from the light in any area of your life.”  Now that is LOVE in ACTION!

As the head of our home – Scott takes God’s calling very seriously – he has become less concerned about our happiness and very concerned about our holiness.  That sometimes is met with resistance {imagine that}.   However, it never returns void and sooner or later – we are thankful for the gift of his wisdom and love for us!   We know that nothing is given or taken away that was not approved by God.   We know that every good and perfect gift comes from above.  We know that anything done without love is a clanging noise before God.   We know, therefore, we must do.  Romans 12:1-2

Truly I am thankful for Scott’s love and YOUR LOVE GOD!   I could never thank You enough for the gift and blessing of what You have done in my husband the last 5.5 yrs.  Thank You for drawing him so close to you that I can literally see and hear You every time I am near to Scott.   Thank You that he continues to lavish me with Your love.   Thank You for all that You have taught him about love and how he continues to teach me too.  Thank You for wanting me to see that true love, pure love, Your love doesn’t hurt – it heals the hardest of hearts!   You are truly a gracious God and Your love simply amazes me. 

 

I pray to get LOVE right and know that I can, only BY HIS GRACE and because GOD IS LOVE!

Tomorrow I will share what this all really means and how to put it into practice.  

God is love = God wills the good for us.  

Just think about that and I’ll be back tomorrow.   Praying for all of us to simply grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ.

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